1815.] A Lawyer's Valentine. For the things of this sort with which judges environ The legs of their patients are nothing but iron, Their Courts too (of Conscience,) are truly absurd, The Court of Apollo, where prayers are preferred For the gift of bad rhyme, and the Court of fair Venus, To which lovers fly with their pleas, while between us, A lover who chooses a mistress should deck her With an order or two from the Court of Exchequer. And as to that Cupid whose conduct denotes, While men's hearts he is stealing from under their coats, That thieving's his trade, I'll be bold now to say, No judge would transport him to Botany Bay: But, though he escapes, yet the girl who is courted, And receives the stol'n goods, has been often transported. Then to mention the murders which gentlemen, sighing, Indict the fair ladies for, swearing they're dying, Expiring of wounds, not of sticks, staves, and knives, But inflicted by glances endang'ring their lives; There's no jury I'm sure, but would throw And acquit the fair felons of meaning to kill. muse; For many there are who un indly rejected, Hang dangling from pegs,-real Knights of Or, disdaining to trust to a peg or a lath, Bath; Or, fearing to give such bold methods a trial, Or, better than all who imitate Cato, way to, Who fall on a spit, and then twirling expire, clean, To dash through the fat, and lay open the lean, Who pick their poor soul-cases quite full of holes, And spurting like apples, thus hiss out their souls. 63 But none of all these, I will venture to tell ye, Need dream of a stake being drove through his belly, Which the law kindly says in a cross road shall pin The wretch who amuses himself with such sin; Though I think that some lovers much better would thrive With a steak in their belly, sometimes when alive. I admit by the way that the bonds which ensue, Are as bad as our judgments at law, and If the parties united should happen to tiff, No convenient sham pleading, or quirking No appeal to the Bench, or by twirl or by twist, But the simple appeal from the tongue to the fist, And the only ten jurors whose office ne'er fails (T'is a dernier resort,) are ten blood-thirsty nails: For though an attachment the law sometimes issues, Yet this would not answer the poor creatures'. wishes; O, Lord! they'd exclaim, that can't lighten 64 Mr. Elmes to Mr. Haydon. Covent Garden, Hyde Park, Piccadilly, and Sloane-street, Where each husband might lawfully knock down his own sweet. But a truce to this nonsense, your ladyship's yawning, I've the honour to wish you a very good morning! SONNET. .T. Addressed to B. R. HAYDON, (painter of the sublime picture of the "Judgment of Solomon)," on his return from Paris; by his friend, JAMES ELMES, Architect. An Architect leaves his drawing-board and square, his diagrams and problems, his lines and rules, to dabble in rhyme, in praise of a Painter, but it is to honour an old friend, whom only to know is reputation, but to be ranked among his friends, (among his admirers he long has been,) and those not of short date, is among the degrees of earthly happiness. HAYDON, I long have mark'd thy soaring mind, And long have witnessed thy bold career, Thy genius from its course, no storm could veer, Nor by dull trammels could it be confin'd, But like Great BUONAROTTI's rose at once sublim'd. Yet to the Louvre's spoil-clad walls you steer Your way, as if its view would make more clear, Those streams which from their sources were refin'd. Go on dear friend like this thy way pursue, Command like this, and conquer tardy fame, And place yourself 'midst her immortal host, Then in the presence of all mortal view, She must invest you with a deathless name, And BRITAIN of her HAYDON proudly boast, J. E. THE CONVICTS; OR, THE POWER OF CONSCIENCE. A Tale, after the manner of Crabbe. Displaying human nature in disguise, [Feb. 1. Like flies, they stick to every morbid place, Revive the golden age in modern day. why Are men so harmless doom'd by law to die? While these to titl'd belles or lordships soar, Push off the boats to bear them from our To friends or wife or parent still they're dear. Mark you that youth approaching man, hood's prime, Unmov'd he seems tho' stain'd with many a crime. You ask the deeds that doom'd him to this fate, The sequel of my tale will these relate. sands : Within the boat he calmly takes his seat, Yet he was once a father's joy and pride, Full oft we see the summer's tender bloom sume; So fell poor Tom, of secret vice the prey, Insidious, cruel, Virtue's direst foe, He tax'd religion to assist his plan; By turns he groan'd and wept, by turns he Still o'er our land dark Superstition reigns, Tradition old reports on Saint Mark's eve→ The sprites then enter-so the legend goes: If chance some vent'rous wight dare curious pry Upon this scene of ghostly privacy, A torpid chillness creeps thro' ev'ry bone, Until the midnight hour of fate be past. he'd heard. Nay more, compell'd was he by some dread Each year to watch the visionary hour. their end; This check'd the boldest in their bold career, About this time within our village rose His views the same, they strictly coalesc'd. His are the cattle on a thousand hills; 65 louder song; None boasted more of prodigies of might; A lambent flame spreads o'er its rugged hide, More near they seem at ev'ry fear-urg'd Gasping for joy, he gains his cottage door, [To be concluded in our next.] Barguest, the name of a goblin, believed by the vulgar in some parts of Yorkshire, to haunt the streets and lanes of country towns and villages. Its supposed appearance indicates death, or some great calamity. It is admitted by modern critics, that the records of superstition, if peculiar to and characteristic of the country in which the same is laid, are a legitimate subject of poetry. I feel authorized not only by this, but also by matter of fact, as the scenes I have attempted to display were actually performed by two desperadoes in Yorkshire a few years back, and by which they imposed upon the superstitious fears of those they intended to plunder. VOL. III. K INCIDENTS, PROMOTIONS, BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, DEATHS, &c. IN LONDON AND MIDDLESEX; With Biographical Accounts of Distinguished Characters. THE monthly bulletin of his Majesty's health, published at the beginning of January, was as follows:-" The King's disorder continues unabated, but his Majesty has passed the last month in a very tranquil state." Early in the morning of Sunday Jan. 8, a fire broke out in the premises of Mr. Kell, wax and tallow-chandler, adjoining the western wall of Northumberland-House, Charing Cross, which for a long time threatened destruction to that princely edifice, as well as to the surrounding neighbourhood. Two houses westward, besides that of Mr. Kell, were destroyed by the devouring element; but fortunately, by great exertions, the duke's noble mansion was preserved, without sustaining any material damage. Several of the inhabitants of Mr. Kell's house, and of these adjoining, escaped with difficulty; but happily no lives were lost. Jan. 18, about six o'clock in the morning, a dreadful fire broke out at the house of Mr. Biggs, straw hat-manufacturer, on the North side of St. Paul's church-yari, which destroyed that and the house adjoining, and materially damaged that of Dollond, the optician, and several others. Two of the six children of Mr. Biggs, a boy about nine, and a girl of three years old, perished in the flames. The general bill of all the christenings and burials, from December 14, 1813, to December 13, 1814, is as follows:: Christened in the 97 parishes within the walls, 1008-Buried, 1251. Christened in the 17 parishes without the walls, 4384-Buried, 4090. Christened, in the 23 Out-Parishes in Middlesex and Surrey, 11,157-Buried, 10,015. Christened, in the 10 parishes in the city and liberties of Westminster, 3621-Buried, 4427. Christened. Males...... 10,813} In all .... Females.... 9,857 Males...... 10,297 Females.... 9,496 In all Whereof have died. Under two years of age... 20,170 19,783 8545 Eighty and ninety A hundred and one....... A hundred and eight.. ... 592 88 1 1 1 1 1 Increase in the burials this year, 2461. It is calculated, that in the different parts of the metropolis, there are at least 5000 houses to be let, many of them in prime situations. The intended front of the King's Theatre, in Pall-Mall, is begun; it is to be formed of brickwork stuccoed with Roman cement. The Duke of Devonshire's residence at Chiswick, when completed, will surpass that of any other nobleman in the vicinity of London. Exclusive of the purchase-money paid for Lady Mary Coke's adjacent house and extensive grounds, which are now thrown into those of his Grace, it is estimated that he has already expended at least 150,000l. upon this now noble domain. An important trial between Lords Holland and Kensington, respecting the right to Holland-House, and its beautiful demense, claimed by the latter, will come on at the sittings after the next term. A beautiful, substantial, patent steam packet of 200 tons, is now building on the Thames, and will be launched in a few weeks. She is intended to go between London and Calais, and is constructed to carry between 4 and 500 passengers; she will be fitted up in the most elegant and commodious manner; from her peculiar mode of construction and machinery, she is calculated to be impelled through the water at the rate of 12 miles an hour, against wind and tide. An experiment was made Jan. 17th, on the Serpentine River, in the presence of a few scien ific persons, to discover what practical improvements might be made in a portable apparatus (intended to be kept in readiness at the canal in St. James's Park, during the frost, where there is neither boat nor other arrangement for affording assistance at that perilous time,) for saving persons who may fall through the ice. In this apparatus, a thin copper case, three feet by two, covered 770 by basket work to protect it from injury, in 649 which the air was closely confined, gave a 1268 buoyancy sufficient to support a folding lad1678 der, with two men placed upon it, to direct 1950 the means of rescue, they had with them a 1810 portable drag, the handle of which could ex.1747 peditiously be lengthened to 24 feet, to with****** • -*^* JA 1343 draw bodies from under the ice, or raise them Between two and five.. 2038 1815.] Capt. Manby's Experiments-Vauxhall Bridge Report. if sunk to the bottom. The design was well adapted to its purpose, and, with a very little alteration, will prove an infallible mode of relief in accidents hitherto fatal. Captain Manby further proposed, in cases where the distance precluded assistance by ordinary means, to project a rope by a rocket to the persons in jeopardy. The rocket, he stated, might be an accompaniment of the above described apparatus, and the ladder be made a stand at any degree of elevation from which to fire it. The rocket exhibited for this purpose was, for greater convenience, adapted to be, and without a stick, and could be fired by precussion, with any hard substance being at hand. From the last report of the committee of the Vauxhall-bridge company, we learn, that seven piers are now safely deposited in their places; two of them, are ready to receive the iron-work,and two others with the abutments on each side of the river, are nearly in the same forwardness. The bottom for the eighth and last is made and launched. The total expense of this bridge, and the approaches to it, is estimated at 235,000l., and there is every prospect that the whole undertaking will be accomplished for less by 34,000l. than the estimate on which it was begun for the bridge only. The sum of 16,000l. is yet wanted; and it is proposed that it shall be raised, either by the issue of 400 shares, at 451. each, or by that of notes, to be paid off on the 1st January, 1818, or converted into stock, at the option of the holders; the latter of which methods is considered preferable by the committee. The interest upon 260,000l. the total sum that will be expended in completing the bridge and roads, including interest and all contingencies, will be 18,000l. per annum. For salaries, toll-gatherers, and other expenses of management, the committee allow 2500l.; and for a sinking fund for accidents, 500l. a year, making a total annual sum of 16,000l. The committee state, that to meet this sum, it is only necessary that their bridge should produce the annual revenue understood to be received at Putney; and they infer, that every share-holder will receive at least five per cent, on his subscription, together with the accumulated interest on his instalments, and that the purchasers of the new shares, issued by virtue of the resolution of April 14, 1814, will derive from them 121. 10s. per cent. with the farther chance of sharing in any excess beyond the estimated annual demand of 16,000l. upon the company's funds. The Supplement to the Gazette of Jan. 3, describes an extension of the Order of the Bath, so important as to a mount almost to the creation of a new order. The official notification is as follows: Whitehall, Jan. 2, 1815. Whereas His R. H. the Prince Regent, acting in the name and on the behalf of his 67 Majesty, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath, is desirous of commemorating the auspicious termination of the long and arduous contests in which this empire has been engaged, and of marking in an especial manner his gracious sense of the valour, perseverance, and devotion, manifested by the officers of his Majesty's forces by sea and land:-and whereas his Royal Highness has thought it fit, by virtue of the royal prerogative, and of the powers reserved to the sovereign in the statutes of the said Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath, to advance the splendour and extend the limits of the said order, to the end, that those officers who have had the opportunities of signalizing themselves by eminent services during the late war, may share in the honours of the said order, and that their names may be delivered down to remote posterity, accompanied by the marks of distinction which they have so nobly earned; The Prince Regent, therefore, acting in the name and on the behalf of his Majesty, hath been graciously pleased to ordain as follows: 1st, The Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath shall, from this time forward, be composed of three classes, differing in their ranks and degrees of dignity. 2d, The first class of the said order shall consist of Knights Grand Crosses; which designation shall be substituted henceforward for that of Knights Companions; and from the date hereof the present Knights Companions and Extra Knights of the said order shall, in all acts, proceedings, and pleadings, be styled Knights Grand Crosses of the Most Honourable Military Order of the Bath. 3d, The number of the Knights Grand Crosses shall not, at any time, or upon any account whatever, exceed seventy-two, exclusive of the sovereign; whereof there may be a number, not exceeding twelve, so nominated and appointed, in consideration of eminent services rendered to the state by British subjects in civil and diplomatic employments. 4th, The said Knights Grand Crosses shall be subject to the same rules and ordinances, and have, hold, and enjoy, all and singular the rights, privileges, inmunities, and advantages, which the Knights Companions of the said order have hitherto held and enjoyed, by virtue of the statutes, excepting as far as may be altered or affected by the present decree. 5th, It shall be lawful for all the present Knights Grand Crosses, from and after the date hereof, to wear upon the left side of their upper vestment the star or ensign of the said order, although such Knight Grand Cross may not have been installed; and henceforward the said star or ensign shall be worn by each and every Knight Grand Cross immediately after his being so nominated and |