The horrible villainy of this wild scamp actually paralysed me-that I should put on such ridiculous trumpery was out of the question; yet what was to be done? I rung the bell violently; "Where are my clothes, Thomas?" "Don't know, sir; I was out all the morning, sir, and never seed them."

There, Thomas, be smart now and send them up, will you?" Thomas disappeared, and speedily returned to say, "that my clothes could not be found any where; no one knew any thing of them, and begged me to come down, as Miss Kamworth desired him to say that they were still waiting, and she begged Mr. Lorrequer would not make an elaborate toilette, as they were going on a country excursion." An elaborate toilette! I wish to heaven she saw my costume; no, I'll never do it. "Thomas, you must tell the ladies and the colonel too, that I feel very ill; I am not to leave my bed; I am subject to attacks-very violent attacks in my head, and must always be left quiet and alone-perfectly alone-mind ine, Thomas-for a day at least." Thomas departed; and as I lay distracted in my bed, I heard, from the breakfast room, the loud laughter of many persons evidently enjoying some excellent joke; could it be me they were laughing at; the thought was horrible.

"Colonel Kamworth wishes to know if you'd like the doctor, sir," said Thomas, evidently suppressing a most inveterate fit of laughing, as he again appeared at the door.

No, certainly not," said I, in a voice of thunder; "what the devil are you grinning at?"

"You may as well come, my man; you're found out; they all know it now," said the fellow with an odious grin.

I jumped out of the bed, and hurled the boot jack at him with all my strength; but had only the satisfaction to hear him go down stairs chuckling

at his escape; and as he reached the parlour, the increase of mirth and the loudness of the laughter told me that he was not the only one who was merry at my expense. Any thing was preferable to this; down stairs I resolved to go at once-but how; a blanket I thought would not be a bad thing, and particularly as I had said I was ill; I could at least get as far as Colonel Kamworth's dressing room, and explain to him the whole affair; but then if I was detected en route, which I was almost sure to be, with so many people parading about the house. No; that would never do; there was but one alternative, and dreadful, and shocking as it was, I could not avoid it; and with a heavy heart, and as much indignation at Waller for what I could not but consider a most scurvy trick, I donned the yellow inexpressibles; next came the vest, and last the coat, with its broad flaps and lace excrescences, fifty times more absurd and merry-andrew than any stage servant who makes off with his table and two chairs, amid the hisses and gibes of an upper gallery.

If my costume leaned towards the ridiculous, I resolved that my air and bearing should be more than usually austere and haughty; and with something of the stride of John Kemble in Coriolanus, I was leaving my bedroom, when I accidentally caught a view of myself in the glass; and so mortified, so shocked was I, that I sank into a chair, and almost resigned my resolution to go on; the very gesture I had assumed for my vindication only increased the ridicule of my appearance; and the strange quaintness of the costume totally obliterated every trace of any characteristic of the wearer, so infernally cunning was its contrivance. I don't think that the most saturnine martyr of gout and dyspepsia could survey me without laughing. With a bold effort, I flung open my room, hurried down the stairs, and reached the hall; the first person I met was I kind of pantry boy; a beast ouly lately emancipated from the plough, and destined after a dozen years' training as a servant, again to be turned back to his old employ for incapacity; he grinned horribly for a minute as I passed; and then in a half whisper said

"Maester, I advise ye run for it'; they're a waiting for ye with the constables in the justice's room." I gave

dragoons were then quartered. I lost no time in selecting an adviser, and taking the necessary steps to bring Master Waller to a reckoning; and on the third morning we again reached Cheltenham, thirsting for vengeance, and bursting still with anger; not so, my friend, however, who never could discuss the affair with common gravity, and even ventured every now and then on a sly allusion to my yellow shorts. As we passed the last toll bar, a travelling carriage came whirling by with four horses at a tremendous pace; and as the morning was frosty, and the sun scarcely risen, the whole team were smoking and steaming, so as to be half invisible. We both remarked on the precipitancy of the party; for as our own pace was considerable, the two vehicles passed like lightning. We had scarcely dressed, and ordered breakfast, when a more than usual bustle in the yard called us to the window; the waiter, who came in at the same instant, told us that four horses were ordered out to pursue a young lady that had eloped that morning with a young officer.

"Ah, our friend in the green, travelling chariot, I'll be bound," said my companion; but as neither of us knew that part of the country, and I was too engrossed by my own thoughts, I never enquired

further. As the chaise in chase drove round the door, I looked to see what the pursuer was like; and as he issued from the inn, recognized my ci devant host, Colonel Kamworth. I need not say my vengeance was sated at once; he had lost his daughter, and Waller was on the road to be married. Apologies and explanations came in due time, for all my injuries and sufferings; and I confess, the part which pleased me most was, that I saw no more of Jack, who started for the continent, where he has lived ever since on a small allowance, granted by his fatherin-law, and never paying me the stipulated sum, as I had clearly broken the compact.

So much for my second attempt at matrimouy; one would suppose that such experience should be deemed sufficient to show that my talent did not lie in that way; yet not so. But here I must rest for the present, with the additional confession, that so strong was the memory of that vile adventure, that I refused a lucrative appointment under Lord Anglesey's government, when I discovered that his livery included " yellow plush breeches;" to have such "souvenirs" flitting around and about me, at dinner and elsewhere, would have left me without a pleasure in existence.

W. R. H.

THE tumult of events by which the very existence of the British monarchy has been perilled, have necessarily interrupted our notices of Mr. Alison's important work. We now resume them, and purpose, in the present number, to give our readers some account of the fifth volume of the only publication in the English language which is worthy the name of a connected and impartial history of the French revolution.

In this volume our author details the events from the peace of Amiens to the battle of Jena, with a luminous fulness and precision which cannot be two highly commended. The character which we gave of him in our former notice has been fully sustained; and we know not where, amongst his cotemporaries, we could find a writer whose claims rank so high, for research, for impartiality, for judgment, and for discrimination. Nor can we forget that these are times, in which, to devote powers like his to labours such as those in which he has been engaged, required no little self-renunciation. For they are not such as the mob could appreciate, or the demagogue would approve. The exposure of the malpractices of the revolutionists in France was not likely to gain the applause of the infidels and republicans in England; nor would it recommend him to the favourable notice of a radical Scotch constituency, to detail, as he has done, the atrocities by which their French prototypes were distinguished. Besides, the calm tone of historical narration was not calculated to arrest attention in these spirit-stirring times; and he must have well known that, amidst the obstreperous din of angry politics, there was but little chance of hearing the still small voice in which history delighteth to utter her admonitions and her warnings. By the party intent upon the destruction of our institutions, the lessons of the past would be despised; by those engaged in their preservation, they must, for the present, be unheeded. And when our author sat down to the work before us, he must have deliberately made up his mind to purchase future fame by a sacrifice of present emolument and repu

tation. Had he chosen to fall in with the political cant of the day, and to shout for liberty and equality, after the fashion of Bowring, Roebuck, and others, one hundredth part of the ability which he possesses would have enabled him, with ease, to distance these mountebanks in the race of popularity, and to obtain such honours and rewards as have been showered upon them and their worthy compatriots, by a fickle and ignorant populace, and an unprincipled administration. But he has chosen the better part, and he will, we trust, have no reason to repent it. It will, at all events, be a proud consolation, in any event, to reflect that what in him lay, had been done to avert from his country the curse of anarchy and revolution. And the day is, we trust, rapidly approaching, when the returning good sense of the country may enable us to congratulate him upon the arrival of a season of security and tranquillity, which is all that can be necessary to render his history as popular as it is delightful.

To those who take a lead in Conservative proceedings we would say, by all means let copies of the work be multiplied, and placed wherever it is practicable so to do, within the reach of the people. Let it be the landlord's present to a worthy and improving tenant; let it be the schoolboy's premium; let it form part of the mechanic's lending library. This is the only sure and certain way to improve the constituencies, and to ensure the propagation of those good principles, upon the prevalence of which the security of our constitution depends. Thus, and thus alone, can the machinations of the demagogue be counteracted. He depends upon the ignorance, we upon the knowledge; he depends upon the profligacy, we upon the virtue of the people. Let us, then, come to the rescue of our invaluable institutions, by presenting to our fellow countrymen those lessons of wisdom by which they may be armed against the devices of political deceivers. Even of most of the radicals we would say, they are not wilfully or wickedly, the enemies of church or state. It is not because of their pro

By Archibald Alison,