to the unhappy Doctor, the fact was by no means so insignificant in its consequences; nay, we suspect that it proved the most unfortunate case that ever occurred in his practice; but we must not anticipate the catastrophe. "Well, my dearest Timothy!" exclaimed his faithful spouse as her eyes glistened at the sight of the bright tin-case, that enshrined the long-desired treasure; "and so after all these years you have at last found out what you should have felt long ago-that nature never meant you for a subordinate, and I now hope to see some little changes in our way of living.' Dr. Doolittle smiled and chuckled at the proposition, feeling, as every one in his position must naturally feel, that the dignity conferred by a diploma ought to be accompanied by a corresponding elevation in the establishment and habits of the individual so dignified. "I certainly do think that it would now ill become my rank and station, that I should any longer trudge through the mire," observed the Doctor; "but-" "But-but what?" asked the anxious wife. “Why, my dear, we have no stable." "And is that the difficulty? leave it to me; buy your horse, and I will find a lodging for it. There is my preserve-cupboard that opens into the back-yard. It will answer prodigiously well." So thought the Doctor, and he accordingly without loss of time purchased of Mr. Jeffery Nickem, a well-known dealer, a tidy-looking beast for the sum of four pounds, under the condition of receiving from the vender, a warranty, setting forth that the said horse, with certain. exceptions therein stated, was sound wind and limb, and above all, steady in its paces, and not addicted to intemperate sallies, and runaway frolics. The bargain was accordingly concluded; and the nag was trotted home to the infinite delight of all parties. It will be remembered that the hero of Cervantes was employed three entire days, in devising a famous and high-sounding name for his immortal steed-ROSINANTE. And those who have read that strange but entertaining work "the Doctor," will recollect with what difficulty Dr. Dove came to a satisfactory decision upon the occasion of giving a name to the foal NOBS. Is it then a matter of surprise that our own Dr. Doolittle should have experienced a similar difficulty; and indeed, we believe that the problem would have remained unsolved to this very day, had not the genius of Mrs. Doolittle at once decided that, as the stable owed its existence to the preserve-cupboard, its inmate should bear the appropriate name of PICKLE. The reader will be pleased to remember the circumstance that more immediately urged our worthy Galen to possess himself of a diploma. How far the success of his rival in the parochial election was due to his having a diploma" in his pocket," we shall not venture to decide, but we beg to direct the attention of the reader more particularly to the expression itself, "a diploma in his pocket," now we humbly submit that this is nothing more than a figure of speech, a proverbial form denoting that the said diploma was ready for use, though not in action; but Dr. Doolittle was a plain matter-of-fact man, and neither valued nor comprehended the figures of rhetoric; he accordingly concluded. that the aforesaid instrument of wax and parchment was literally carried June.-VOL. LVI. NO. ÇCXXII. $ about in that circumscribed cavity, commonly called a pocket, by its fortunate proprietor, and he accordingly directed his wife to prepare in the suburbs of his coat a dark recess of buckram, wherein his own dear tin case might repose in secret and in safety. Unhappy Doolittle! upon what slight and accidental circumstances do the fortunes of us poor short-sighted mortals depend ! Every arrangement having been completed, the next sun was to witness the elevation of the Doctor, and the merits of his new quadruped, and the reader must now accompany us, in imagination at least, to the front door of Dr. Doolittle. Oh! for the descriptive pencil of Hogarth, or the matchless pen of Smollett! but no matter, we poor scribblers must make the best of such goosequills as we can muster. M There were assembled at the door, Mrs. Doolittle, with a washingtub to enable her lord and master to mount, Mr. Andrew Grumditch, Mr. Tobias Snakefoot the attorney, and several members of the sixpenny club, of which the doctor was chairman, and Richard Latherwell, the political barber and village newsmonger. Doolittle appeared in his usual dress, and there was one, and only one, indication of increased importance manifested in his person, and that was the addition of sundry rings, which had, from time to time, been presented to him by the friends of his defunct patients, and which, upon this remarkable occasion had been placed, by Mrs. Doolittle, on the digits of her elevated husband. This little display of vanity did not escape the notice of the waggish ex-pedagogue, Grumditch, who declared that, like Hannibal, the Doctor denoted the number of slain by his collection of rings. At first, nothing could promise fairer than the jog-jog pace at which Pickle commenced his career, as the whip of the rider descended in heavy spondees upon his ribs. "Capital," exclaimed Grumditch; "he maintains the character of Hannibal, for although he may not make his way by vinegar, he certainly gets on by the aid of Pickle." "Like Any bull," muttered Mrs. Doolittle, who knew about as much of the Carthaginian general, as she did of the Assyrian monarchs, while she darted a look at Grumditch which seemed to intimate that she could eat him without salt. "The Doctor gets on," continued Grumditch, "one might imagine from his double knocks, that he was riding a Post-horse." As the Doctor, however, waxed in courage and confidence, these double knocks or spondees, were exchanged for more sprightly dactyls, and the sympathizing Pickle frisked about with corresponding liveliness. Now it did so happen that the tin case, to which we have so often alluded, suddenly disengaged itself, and without any warning, struck out a tattoo upon the nether quarters of the animal, "Which, as he trotted with a thwack, Rattled against his rawbone back.” Away went Pickle justifying his name, as Grumditch was heard to observe, by the display of capers. Kicking, snorting, and cutting a thousand pranks, to the just indignation, and at length to the terror of his rider, and to the alarm and consternation of the numerous friends of the Doctor: when lo! in less time than that we have consumed in the description, Doolittle was un-pickled, and though by no means fresh, was happily preserved by a mass of mud, which fortunately received the fallen hero; in which he struggled like a fly in one of his own electuaries. "Snakefoot," exclaimed the prostrate Doctor, as he wiped the black dose from his mouth and nostrils, "surely an action will lie in this case?" "Assuredly, Doctor, as certain as you and your case now lie in the mud," responded the Attorney. We shall here drop the curtain upon the Doctor and his friends, who, the reader will readily believe, lost no time in repairing the mischief that the adventure had occasioned. Our history now passes to a very different scene. In consequence of the disaster above related, Dr. Doolittle, by and with the advice of his friend, Mr. Tobias Snakefoot, brings his action against the aforesaid horse-dealer, Jeffery Nickem, not only for the recovery of the purchase-money, but for damages consequent upon the personal injuries sustained by his downfal. Mr. Sergeant Crankum, who had been retained for the prosecution, rose and addressed the jury in nearly the following words: "May it please your lordship. Gentlemen of the jury. In the present action the plaintiff, Doctor Doolittle, is a highly respectable apothecary, in very extensive practice; a gentleman not only competent to the full and conscientious discharge of those important duties which belong to the general practitioner in medicine, but whose merits and high attainments have clothed him with the distinguished honours of a Scotch diploma. The defendant is one Jeffery Nickem, a noted horsedealer, with whose name and fame I doubt not but you, gentlemen of the jury, are already well acquainted. I shall prove to you in evidence that the plaintiff Doolittle did, in the month of May last, enter into a negotiation, with the defendant Nickem, for the purchase of a quiet and safe horse, and that the parties ultimately agreed as follows, to wit, the plaintiff to pay the sum of four pounds, and the defendant, in consideration thereof, to transfer to the said plaintiff all his right and property in a certain horse, now called Pickle; provided, moreover, that a warranty of the said horse's soundness, and so forth, should be given by the defendant. I shall this day have the satisfaction of producing this warranty in evidence, and it is upon the falsities therein contained that I rest my client's claim for recompence. Gentlemen of the jury, it has been my good or evil fortune, for I know not which to designate it, to have been engaged in a greater number of horse causes than any of my brethren on the same circuit, and I can most conscientiously declare that, in the whole range of my experience, I never met with so barefaced an imposition as that which is now to engage your solemn attention, and for which my injured client confidently seeks redress at your hands. It no doubt accords with your experience, as it does with mine, that a case rarely occurs so totally desperate and forlorn as to defy the ingenuity of counsel in framing a defence; but be assured, gentlemen, that the present case will turn out to be such an anomaly; at least, I cannot for my life, anticipate the probability of a plausible answer from my learned brother Botherum to this warranty-this stubborn document which I now hold in my hand. Depend upon it, gentlemen, your labour will be as short in duration as was the ride of my unhappy client, for like the horse Pickle, the defendant has not a leg to stand upon." The learned serjeant then proceeded to detail the facts, with which our readers have been already made acquainted, and was preparing to call his witnesses in support of the case, when the defendant's counsel rose, and said, "That there was one point in his learned brother's address to which he readily assented, that the present trial would be as short as the plaintiff's ride, and he would take the liberty of adding, that he apprehended the analogy might be extended to its termination, which he doubted not would end in the complete overthrow and discomfiture of the Doctor. He was anxious to spare the time of the court, and he felt confident that he could satisfy his lordship, that if his learned friend proved his own case, the plaintiff must be nonsuited. The ground I take," continued the counsel," is in that very warranty, in that stubborn document which the learned serjeant has so triumphantly flourished before you; not a syllable is to be found in that warranty as to the capability of the horse Pickle carrying double-my learned friend may smile, but I repeat of carrying double. I defy him to show any expression that can be so construed, nor could the vender have contemplated the existence of such a quality, any more than the purchaser ought to have expected it; for let me ask, who has a right to expect a horse, any more than a watch, to have a duplex movement, unless an equivalent price be paid for it? That the horse Pickle was doubly burdened by his new master, on the memorable morning in question, is quite clear from the statement of my learned friend, who has told you that nothing could be less riotous nor less offensive than the demeanour of the peaceful beast, until his ears were assailed by the discordant sound of the tin case, from which, for the first time, he instinctively inferred that he carried over and above the apothecary, for whom he had shown every mark of respect and homage, a physician to whom he could not possibly owe any allegiance. But it may, perhaps, be asked, how Dr. Doolittle can, for an instant, be considered as equivalent to a double charge upon the powers of his horse, however notoriously capable he may have been of a double charge upon the purses of his patients. I have no doubt, that upon this point, your lordship will agree with me that the law, in deciding upon the unity or multiplicity of a party, does not take into consideration, like a carcass butcher, the avoirdupois weight of its corporeal elements. I am willing to admit that to those less experienced in the subtleties of the law it may appear somewhat strange that where there obviously exists but one indivisible corpus, the law should recognise the presence of two or more distinct persons; this may not be reason, but it is lawin which so many analogous cases exist as to make the present one no anomaly. In the instance of man and wife, such as Dr. and Mrs. Doolittle, there were two distinct bodies, but the law, nevertheless, holds that they were but one person; nay, so accordant is this rule of law with the familiar conceptions of mankind that, in the case of a tailor, nine distinct and independent lumps of mortality, each exceeding the plaintiff in bulk and stature, would not constitute more than one individual. If, then, two or more bodies can be thus united into one person, surely the converse must be admitted, namely, that one body may be legally resolved into two persons; indeed, a parish priest will afford a familiar example, for as parson, he is a "body politic," a "corporation sole," and is continued and represented by his successor; but, as a private person, he is an individual, clothed only with the same privileges, and subject to the same accident, as any other of her majesty's lieges. The case of Dr. Doolittle is precisely parallel; for although there be but one physical existence, I will undertake to prove there are two distinct volitions, opposed and often adverse to each other: thus, Doolittle as a physician, may often desire, as his name imports, to do little; while, in the capacity of apothecary, he is irresistibly led to dose much; unless, then, two distinct and independent existences be admitted, what discrepancies and discordances would arise, defeating the ends both of law and justice! Doolittle would thus represent a sort of medical Janus with a double face, the one expressive of peace and good-will, the other of war and bloodshed." Mr. Botherum having thus concluded his defence, the jury expressed their decided concurrence, and pronounced a verdict for the defendant but the plaintiff's counsel begged that his lordship would reserve the point of law. THE CAROL OF CONTENT. BY SIR LUMLEY SKEFFINGTON. THOUGH gaudy presumption my lot may deride, If the gardens no splendid exotic present, Still their lilies are pure, and I culture content; And, renouncing its folly, escape from its care. I bless what I have, without wishing it more. |