FRIDAY EVENING, MARCH 18 EIGHTH ANNUAL Sons of Members Night Auditorium, 6.30 o'clock Mr. GEORGE S. SMITH will preside. PROGRAM ADDRESSES BY His Excellency CHANNING H. Cox. His Honor ANDREW J. PETERS. PRESENTATION OF THE WINNERS IN THE PRIZE SPEAKING CONTEST. SINGING BY THE EMMANUEL QUARTET. THE CHILDREN OF THE WOODS," illustrated talk by W. LYMAN UNDER WOOD. WHAT IT MEANS WHEN FATHER SNORES (Humorous), by A. C. M. Azoy, Jr. Community Singing. Orchestra. Dinner at 6.30 o'clock. Tickets at the office of the Civic Secretary. Saturday Afternoon, March 26 MOTION PICTURES FOR MEMBERS AND SONS Auditorium, 2.30 o'clock Community Singing, 2 to 2.30 o'clock Program The Life History of the Pearl, followed by a cartoon, Out of the Inkwell. American Bears, made by Raymond L. Ditmars, curator of the Bronx Zoological Park, New York. An exceptionally entertaining and instructive picture, showing various kinds of bears. Along the Riviera, showing handsome villas and Roman ruins along the rock-bound shores at the foot of the Italian Alps. The Wanderer and the Whozitt, a Bruce scenic showing the rarest animal in the wilds of North America, the "Woolly Whozitt," with the funny face. A story of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. A Fair Day, the clown at the country fair. A new Red Cross picture. Note. One or two industrial pictures may be added, or substituted in place of some of those listed above. This will be the last of the series of motion-picture shows for members and sons. Monday Evening, March 28 (Forum) Speaker and subject to be announced Watch the bulletin board in the lobby, or telephone the office of the Civic Secretary for information. Notice will also be given at the Forum Meeting on March 14. ADDRESSES BY NEAL R. O'HARA AND THOMAS A. DALY January 27, 1921 INTRODUCTION BY MR. F. P. SIBLEY Gentlemen, when we have finished with the day's work; when we have eaten such a dinner as our industry and our wives could provide for us; when we have risen to the highest mental attainments that most of us could by reading the Boston Evening Transcript; when satisfied that through developments of human life and human attainments of the ordinary sort we wish to rise higher, we turn almost invariably to poetry. In the Middle Ages almost every baron kept a tame poet or two around the premises; and we have more Irish poets than those of any other race, for the simple reason that there were more kings in Ireland than there were anywhere else. It is only in modern times when, by the assistance of that great engine of publicity, the newspaper, the poet has come into his own. -- Some men, by sheer smartness, succeed in being abreast of the day by presenting to you whatever of whimsy, whatever of real philosophical thought because you cannot "throw the bull" all day, unless he has got horns. It is all right to get an idea by the tail, but it has got to have teeth in the other end of it, or else the little envelope turns blue, and the poor columnist goes to work for Street, Walker & Company. I think, of all the columns running in the daily papers to-day, one of the kippiest, one of the smartest, is that edited by Neal R. O'Hara, of the Boston Post [applause]. I take great pleasure in presenting to you Mr. Neal R. O'Hara, MR. NEAL R. O'HARA Mr. Chairman, I am much obliged for that flattering introduction, but I would like to say to the audience that Mr. Sibley can't kid me. Anyway, the only writers nowadays who amount to anything are the guys who are writing prescriptions. However, I am glad to be the first act on a bill which Mr. Daly headlines. Mr. Daly, with D'Annunzio and Dante, is one of the three leading Italian poets of the age. In conversation with him at the dinner, upstairs, he told me that he was working for the Philadelphia Record. Considering that he is the father of nine children, he already has a record. If he keeps on at the rate he has established for himself, the Democratic Party of Pennsylvania will amount to something, at last. However, for the next four years, we must depend upon the Republican Party, and I think we can all safely depend on that part of the ticket which comes from Massachusetts, in the person of Calvin Coolidge [applause]. We all know that when Calvin Coolidge goes to Washington he will be successful in everything except getting an apartment for thirty-two dollars a month. Calvin Coolidge has the opportunity of being the greatest Vice-President we ever have had, with the possible exception of Simon Swig. Incidentally, I might remark that Mr. Coolidge's successor, Channing Cox, is a regular fellow. I think we are justified in saying that Calvin Coolidge attained national prominence through the police strike, and there is a chance for Channing Cox to go higher, as Coolidge has gone, for the Boston police situation is still a live issue; if the Boston police are not walking out, they are breaking in. But, gentlemen, we need strong men in these distressing times. With business duller than a wooden Indian's tomahawk, Ford jokes are the only parts of the machine that are being assembled, while Ford is trying to get buyers out of retrenchments by Washington's Birthday. Meanwhile, with depression going on, we find that the tired workman not so chesty as he has been. It is a very different thing now, when the tired workingman, with very little in his pocket, brings a two-fisted appetite into a one-armed lunch room. To-day the electricians are killing less time per kilowatt-hour, and the plumbers remember to bring all their tools. The Typographical Union charges less for typographical errors; and bank clerks are now willing to work for six months without knowing the vault's combination. Ah, gentlemen, it seems sad to think of the poverty and misery there is throughout the land. I understand that some families are already down to their last thousand phonograph needles. This is the first season for a long time that the snow shovelers haven't been up to their necks in work. Second-story workers are now willing to break into bungalows. The movie actors are in dire straits, some of them setting gold-plated wolf traps on their front verandas. A lot more are only carrying two spare tires, and some actresses have given up cream baths, and are now bathing in skimmed milk. Business is certainly rotten everywhere. Guys that used to smoke excellent cigarettes are now rolling their own, or borrowing them from some other fellow. Eight-day clocks have been reduced to six days, with two hours off for cash. Under the torrent of slumping prices, orchids have crashed to sixteen dollars a petal. But foreign exchange is better. The mark is worth a cent and a half in Germany, but over here marks are worth ten cents apiece on any sucker list. As if we haven't enough trouble, the blue-law reformers are butting in; they want to eliminate our Sundays and make out of us a six-day race. As I understand a reformer, he is a guy who inspects the milk of human kindness, and sees only the bacteria, as the cream goes slipping by. The reformer believes in law and order: The law for you and the orders from him. If they have their way, gentlemen, you will soon be buying your Sunday papers from your favorite bootleggers. Patrick Henry asked for liberty or death, and he got his second choice. There is, however, one redeeming feature of our national life. I refer to the women. You remember how, three or four years ago, the women were saving cloth to put into soldiers' uniforms and thereby help win the war. Gentlemen, after walking down Tremont Street I am impressed by the fact that the women are now trying to win the next war. This winter the girls have got shorter skirts without striking for them. I would like to state that a short skirt is a great thing, unless the girl is bow-legged, or the guy is nearsighted; and it is even suspicioned to-day that the department stores are getting hair nets in smaller sizes and selling them for stockings. In the old days, Mary had a little lamb that followed her to school. To-day, if Mary has two fair-sized calves, the hosiery inspectors do the following. The real sight-seers in Boston don't go around in rubber-neck wagons, they go around on rubber heels. A year ago, the traffic cops at Tremont and Boylston streets had to stop the chauffeurs to let the girls pass. Now the traffic police have to start the chauffeurs, after the chauffeurs have watched the girls go by. It is a curious fact that a girl with nothing above the neck has generally a plenty below the belt. That is why stenographers are now generally hired for their short skirts, instead of for their shorthand. They used to hitch price-tags on waists; now, they take the waist and attach it to the price-tag. A girl has more on, going to the shower bath, than she has when going to a show and they wear less on the stage than they do in the audience. Over in New York, this week, Mary Garden sang "Salome" clad in twenty-eight beads, and twenty-two of them were perspiration. I hate to take you from this delicious topic, but there are some reforms I would like to discuss. To-day the country's greatest industry is tax collecting. Taxes, taxes everywhere, and not a drop to drink. We common people get it in the neck. We are 100 per cent American when we buy Liberty Bonds, and 85 per cent American when we sell them. We pay $7,500 a year for a Congressman to represent us in Washington, and all we get is a package of seeds. If the landlord's wife wants a new necklace, your rent goes up. If Rockefeller loses a couple of golf balls, up goes the price of gasoline. Since prohibition went into effect, the government lets us stagger from taxes. Gentlemen, when you think it over, you pay a poll tax for voting, an amusement tax for laughing, a Pullman tax for sleeping, an income tax for working, and an inheritance tax for dying. It wouldn't surprise me if there would soon be a luxury tax on going to hell. We may not know the words of the "Star-Spangled Banner," but we certainly know the cost of "Our Country, 'Tis of Thee." If the incoming Republican forces, with Harding, Coolidge and the rest of them, will only relieve us poor common people of the burdens that we now shoulder, it will be the greatest thing that has ever happened to the Republican Party since Bryan ran for President [prolonged laughter and applause]. |