who were instrumental in enticing them away. These fellows, had the impudence to quote a certain passage from an old musty record, which directs children to Honor their father and mother that their days may be long on the land &c." pretending to infer from this that running away from parents without leave first had and obtained, to engage in "glorious war," to conquer (no body knew what,) was disobeying and consequently dishonoring parents. The measure at first, appeared a little high-handed to the true blues, to the advocates for the war, who were not in a situation to take a view of the whole ground. But it was soon shrewdly whispered in their ears that the fathers of such had manfully re sisted every enticement to enlist, and shown themselves proof against every allurement to the field of danger, that it was probable that all their sons were true begotten in this respect, or if it otherwise happened, it would be easy to blow a little of the Bladensburgh panic into their tender breasts, which would be sufficient to embargo them in the paternal kitchen, until the war was

over.

But in the midst of this cogitation-fever and project labor, in popt a messenger with a treaty of PEACE, which it appeared had been signed at Ghent, on the 24th of December preceding.

Ye invisible beings, of musquito penetration, whose eyes discern the motion of every nerve and muscle in man, relate, how many a heart that had been long depressed with fear, began to bound with hope and dance with exultation. Relate, how the sluggish blood which long since retreated to the hiding places of the heart, began from this moment to crawl along the clogged

reïns, and resume its wonted office in the several sys-tems of the assembled great ones.

Within a few hours, all was confusion about the Wigwam. A host of whiskered gentry were seen dodging out and in and multitudes crowded around to know what the treaty contained. The mob were soon informed that it would be good manners for them to wait until Uncle Sam had first heard it. The long table was drawn out, and the Bladensburgh noblesse seated themselves around. Sangrado, as his duty was, stood behind Uncle Sam's chair in waiting. The Chief Steward having commanded silence, bade the Chief Clerk stand up and read the treaty.

Chief Clerk reads. "His Britannic Majesty and the United States of America, being desirous of terminating the war which has unhappily subsisted between the two countries"

Uncle Sam. Hold Sir. It is of no use to read all that, preamble, I'll take my pocket-book and call for the matter as I want it. In the first place let me ask, how many articles have you in that thing-it looks long -quite a large paper.

Chief Clerk. Eleven Articles Sir.

Uncle Sam. Eleven, aye.-What! eleven, why that's more than we wanted. I have a memorandum of only six in my pocket-book. Now begin with the first artithat renounces forever his illegal blockades, I sup

cle;

pose.

Chief Clerk. No Sir, that relates to making PeaceUncle Sam. Peace, Peace? no need of that, war ceases of itself, when we leave off fighting: When we run away from the enemy; aye, Jacques?

Chief Steward. Why Sir, having declared war in due form, it was necessary we should declare peace with as much formality.

Uncle Sam. Aye, very well, read on, come, the Blockades!

Chief Clerk. The second article speaks of ratifying the treaty, and the time in which hostilities shall be considered as having ceased, with respect to the captures of vessels on the high seas. This article is a necessary consequence of the preceding.

Uncle Sam. Oh, very well, go on.

Chief Clerk. Article third treats of the exchange of Prisoners.

Uncle Sam. Very well, read on.

Chief Clerk. Articles fourth and fifth treat of running boundary lines anew.

Uncle Sam. Boundary lines, what? Oh, aye so as to take in Canada I suppose, very well, read on. Come the Blockades! I have my thumb on it.

Chief Clerk. Articles seventh and eighth refer to boundaries also.

Uncle Sam. What, what, boundaries again, more territory! Sangrado, we shall have to make you Governor yet.

Chief Steward, (aside.) Dn that Pocket-book, I wish it was burnt.

Chief Clerk. Article ninth relates to hostilities with the Indian tribes. Article tenth treats of the abolition of the Slave trade. The last article relates to the mutual obligation of the Treaty on both the contracting powers.

Uncle Sam. What! what, have we not obtained a sin< gle thing we have been fighting for? What does all this

mean? Boundaries, Ratifications, Indians, Slaves, obligations? what, we didn't go to war for this trumpery! Blockade's, Sailors' rights, John Henry, what! have we no redress, what?

Chief Steward. Oh yes, my dear sir, we have obtained all we contended for. The blockades and orders in council are much the same thing. Bull rescinded his orders in council long since. With regard to sailor's rights he is dismissing his own sailors now, and sure when he has more sailors than he knows what to do with, he can have no motive to take ours: and with regard to John Henry, we have taken our satisfaction in playing the same game with Bull at a much greater rate, so that we may sett off even in that respect.

Besides we have acquired immortal honor in this war: look at the exploits of our Navy and the defence of New-Orleans, the defence of Fort Meigs and Stonnington, the capture of Little York and the battle of Chippewa. The honor we have obtained alone, would well recompense us for all the charges of the war.

Uncle Sam. Exploits of the Navy! you must give Tom Boston credit for that. His brave tars have achieved every victory, that has been gained. Surely you won't have the brass to boast of the exploits of the Navy. Have you forgotten that you have been the deadly enemies of a navy all your days? That you turned Tom out of office for building it? Sangrado give me a glass of your Whiskey with a few of your Lethean drops in it-I grow faint.

While the Squire was administering the balsam of forgetfulness to the war-sick Knight,-in comes the Chief Scribe of the strong box with a huge bundle on his back. No Jew-Pedlar ever trudged beneath a hea

vier load; down goes the budget, when the scribe began to pull out and unrol a paper of much greater Longitude than Latitude, when the Knight with his usual importu nity began to ask what he had-what it meant? The Chief Scribe replied that it was an account Current, of his honors receipts and expenditures during the war.

Aye said Uncle Sam, read it let us hear how it sounds, don't be tedious now, just give us the round numbers, don't descend to the particular items.

Chief Scribe. The whole amount of expenditures, is two hundred millions of dollars; for which we have in return, experience in the art of war, say fifty millions The increased value of our Navy and Fortifications, say fifty millions more. Then there's the Glory we have acquired, no one will deny is worth at least one hundred millions more, and this balances the account.

Uncle Sam. Aye then we have done well; we have the Peace, the Boundary lines, the pacification of the Indian tribes, and the ratifications as all clear gainneat profits, aye Sangrado? we've done very well, aye? Sangrado. But then we have lost Moose Island.

Uncle Sam. Aye, Moose Island, what is that worth? What are a few roods of earth, to a whole continent of fame! But what a strange thing is war! How magical, how potent in its operations! By two or three years of war, blockades become ratifications. Sailors rights boundaries! And John Henry's plots are transmuted into abolition of the slave trade. Aye, but there's the Glory, that's the choicest part of the whole. Well, then I suppose I may take this bundle, and use it as occasion requires; What papers are all these, so nicely folded which I see here in the "Sacks mouth." Aye, Glory Bills! Drafts at sight, on immortality. Wonderful met