fles Land, and most graciously attempted to plant the tree of Liberty in another place. In this measure, he was greatly assisted by the Valiant Knight count Tomus-off who sent one of his own generals to command the expedition and assist in placing the roots of the tree.

The place chosen for the second attempt to innoculate the clownish Snowfieldians with blessings of Liberty, was Queenston, a pleasant town separated from the dominions of Sam, by that frith of water which is köwn by name the St. Lawrence. The famous attempt was made on the 12th day of the 10th Month, and in the early part of the day promised the most complete success; but Master Brooks suddenly made his appearance, accompanied by a host of his frosty Cossacs, and a multitude of the sons of Cain, who live in the forests, like wild beasts of the desert. Besetting the valiant Samuelites with great fury, he soon regained the conquered ground, and obliged the Captain of the band to withdraw with great precipitation from the ground and recross the river. This he effected with great loss of killed, wounded and prisoners. Although John Bull claimed the victory, yet Uncle Sam gave him a most grievous scratching. He lost many of his servants, among whom was the brave Master Brook.

The effect of this attempt was nothing more than to teach Bull to be a little on his guard, and Uncle Sam that it would require more than six weeks, to instruct such blockish beings, in the saving knowledge of Republican freedom. Naturalists tell us that a goose by proper management, may be fatted in nine days, a turkey in three weeks, and a hog in a given period; but the blessings of "Peace, Liberty and safety" could not be crammed down the throat of John Bull far enough to

make any sensible alteration in his meagre appearance, although the Ragout was prepared by the most experienced Cooks, and the dish garnished with proclamations, and seasoned with gunpowder. A measure of this kind ́appeared to require strength, time, and money.

CHAPTER VII.

WICKEDNESS OF TOM BOSTON-PROPOSALS FOR AN ARMISTICE-NAVAL TRANSACTIONS-PHILOSOPHICAL REFLEC TIONS OF THE HISTORIAN.

We have already had occasion to speak of the General Covenant, by which the family of Uncle Sam was governed. This instrument gave the Chief Steward authority to call out the armed servants of the whole family, on certain specified emergencies: viz. In case of invasion, to subdue insurrections, and to put the laws in force. No sooner had the declaration of hostilities gone forth, when off-popped a thundering proclamation, requiring all the liege servants of the family, to vex, hurt, plague, worry, bother, and in every way, teaze, pinch, frighten and thump John Bull, to a sense of his duty, and in aid of these potent persuasives, the Chief Steward immediately required of the chiefs of Clans in Tom Boston's dominions to put a certain number of the militia, or as they are humorously termed by the "Lords of the Ancient dominion," the Leather-apron-interest, under the control of the Field Marshal-general. Tom Boston instantly took fire on hearing this order, and resolutely forbid his Bashaws complying with it. Holding the General Covenant in one hand, and a clenched fist in the other, he exclaimed, "None of the occasions stated in the Covenant have occurred; these men are not wanted for defence-there is no invasion-there is no civil commotion-the Laws are not resisted." The

Chief Steward replied that a power to correct an evil, involved a power to prevent, and that if none of the cases had actually happened, yet he had taken the most certain measures to bring on an invasion, and insisted on his right to the forces required in the order, and almost intimated that obedience would be had in some way, either by hook or by crook. But Tom, stubborn as a mule, declared that if such an attempt was made "the flood that overwhelmed him must rise higher than his mountains-the storm that swept him, must tear him from the bottom of his vallies, and that sooner than yield, every vale should be a Thermopyle, every height, Bunker's hill."

Or

On hearing this daring insolence of the hardened Boston, the Chief Steward with infinite address shook his head, and nothing but the most consummate self command, kept him from shaking his fist. But the har dened ingrate did not escape without punishment. ders were immediately given for a proclamation-burden of hard names to be manufactured in the Slang mills, and the Lamp black factories, to be hung in hand-bills, around the shoulders of Tom and his Coadju-tores and oppugnatores; who had the hardy presumption to resist the powers that be, or the authority, that would be. Among the Chiefs who distinguished themselves by their disobedience, were Caleb Codline, Roger Saybrook, and George Mountain. They too, partook lustily of the punishment which was meted out to Tom Boston.

Tom and his associates were called, Rebels, Tories, Bullites and Factionists, besides being obliged to suffer the excruciating tortures inflicted by 10,000 profound contempts, and to endure the inexpressible anguish of being let alone.

But what evinced the most obdurate and premeditated villany, was these remorseless wretches, Gallio like, * cared for none of these things."

Since the thread of adventures is broken, it may be well here to mention that John Bull, hearing that Nap had by a proclamation revoked his decrees, rescinded his orders in Council, and proposed a cessation of hostilities. This, he fancied, might lead to an accommodation, as by it one of the principal causes of contention were removed. And indeed, had Uncle Sam been left to himself, his wrath being somewhat cooled, it is believed he would have accepted it. But the Chief Steward considered his honor concerned, in obtaining the whole or nothing. And the event proved the wisdom of his calculations; for he warred most valiantly more than two years, and then made a "Glorious peace" on the precise terms now offered, saving that he gave up the privilege of catching fish in a certain place, and a small lump of territory, merely to prove the sincerity of his disposition. O Conquest, how resistless are thy attractions; Honor, thou art something more than a reckoning," more than the image of "him who died yesterday," or, in thy forbidding presence, Nature might be permitted to plead-and reason to advocate!

❝ trim

Now courteous and delighted reader, since you and I have been in copartnership hitherto in this toilsome journey, frequently through unpleasant paths; let us now like two dogs long kenneled together, break out and snuff the breezy gale," the fragrant air, and seek, if not better, more agreeable company. We leave for awhile the costume of masquerade, and the regions of metaphor, we become ourselves and dare to be men.