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which he did, are they not written on the leaves of Stridepole, and engraved on the hearts of the children of Samuel. And Thomas was gathered unto himself→→ and James the son of a G- -n, reigned in his stead
POLICY OF JACQUES-DIALOGUE BETWEEN UNCLE SAM AND HIS SQUIRE-FINAL RESOLUTION OF UNCLE SAM.
Ir need hardly be mentioned that Jacques no sooner had the management of mine Uncle's estate than he declared himself pleased with the policy of the Magician of whom mine uncle Zachary hath discoursed so learnedly. Being the third of the pipeweed Dynasty, he determined to be at least the second in the philosophic regime of the family; and to endeavor to teach Uncle Sam's boys, (what indeed the stubborn dunces were very loth to learn) that by mere dint of reasoning, they might bear the chastisement of Scorpions with philosophic fortitude and christian meekness, while a smart tingling of the whip should start them into revengeful action, and rouse them to tiptoe-indignation. It was alledged that that dumb, yet faithful animal, the horse, had been taught to receive the friendly pattings and the scourging lash, with the same Stoic acquiesence from his master, while he would kick indignantly at the stranger who merely spoke to or pointed at hini. How much then is a man better and more rational than a horse?
While Jacques was thus ruminating on the events of the times, a comparative view of the fame which now is, with that reputation, which the approbatory voice of a cool-headed posterity usually confers, presented itself to his mind. "If I follow said he, the example of my predecessor in office and of my friend Nap, I shall
regard solely the incidents of the present moment ; To be artful in managing events, is to be successfulto be successful is to be famous-to be famous is to be great, and what more is, or can be desired, or wished for? Alexander accomplished no more, and perished before he was forty; he reached not the full measure even of that short span of existence commonly allotted to mortals; he sunk into his grave, whilst the peal of adulation was sounding in full chorus on his ear, and before the elements had time to blot out the sanguinary stains which marked the pathway of his glory."
"Cæsar, on the day previous to the memorable battle of Pharsalia, spent no time in weighing the judgments of posterity, he cared not a fig for the good or ill opinion which succeeding ages might form of his moral principles or political conduct. And while the self sufficient Pompey was playing cards and drinking wine, he was arranging the plan of attack on the coming day, a day which was to decide the Liberties of Rome, and give a master to the bone and sinew of the world.
"But nearer home.-Did our friend Nap muse about the judgement of posterity when he decided the fate of Switzerland and Holland? Did he dread the sober page of the moralist, when he dispatched his prisoners at Jaffa. When he executed the Duke of Enghein and the unfortunate Bookseller Palm ? No, he reasoned, and justly too give me Empire and let my fame take care of itself," Take no thought for the morrow," (that is for the morrow of future ages,) is a wise precept→ rather let me take thought for the Stewardship; for it is settled that we full bloods of the Pipeweed family, shall twice possess the Stewardship. The first term I
am sure of, and if war with John Bull is necessary to secure it again, war it shall be. When my predecessor caused the repeal of the internal duties he regarded present not future good, for the popular cry then was, no taxes." And when the public voice says war and taxes, so it must be; no matter by what means that voice has been produced, or influenced.”
Thus ejaculated the chief steward, Sangrado made a profound bow and repaired to the tent of Uncle Sam, whom he found smoking his pipe, and in a posture more than usually thoughtful. Well, said mine Uncle, Sangrado, what is the serious world about? What news of Bull, what of Nap, what says the chief Steward, do we have war or peace? I begin to grow tired of this state of things. If we have war, Sangrado, I must tell you I am not a little fearful of this nag Democracy, a fine Beast, O as true as the needle, a fine Beast to ride to Elections on and manage state affairs in time of peace; but in war, when the battle rages, I am afraid,
ah I am afraid the restive truant wont like the smell of powder; ah and its no trifling affair to meet John Bull in the field, I've try'd it once I know all about it I had a different horse when I met him at Bunker-hill, at Saratoga, at Trenton and Yorktown.-Ah the good old horse Buckskin-Yankee-George could manage him, aye he knew him, there was no more dodge to him than there is to Mount Andes ;-these were golden days for the fame of Uncle Sam, this accursed French Colt was not hatched then.
Oh fie, your honor replied the Squire, never was a better beast since asses came in fashion-full of mettle, I have tried him at tilting and thrusting, and at pursuing a flying and disarmed foe there is not his equal in
creation and really sir, if the contest comes on, it is expected there will be little else to do than pick up stragglers War once declared, Bull with all his colors will fly at the mere sound of your name. Your honor's Lady has declared, and certainly she knows, that five thousand men will scour the whole Country, and march into Quebec. This she had from Peter the fisherman, who lives on the borders of Bulls dominions, and may be considered as knowing more about the matter than any one of your Honor's family. This Peter is an uncommon wag, it was but lately, when "he girt his Fishers coat about him," that he perceived it was turned inside out and perceiving the joke pleased your Lady, he has worn it so ever since-the surname "fisherman" has been appended to his name, on account of the fishing disposition he has shewn after an office, and if war is declared, we can do no less than make him contractor.-Besides we have the testimony of the Thunder and lightning-man, called by Tom Boston, the southern glow-worm-he has declared Bull and all his race to be a set of cowardly caitiffs, and that one of your free-born soldiers will drive a thousand of his slaves. Yea, he went so far as to declare that "if he had the command of the red Artillery of Heaven, he would drive that fast anchored Isle from its moorings." -But think once your Honor, what such a man would do if made General ;-even these words once fairly set in a proclamation, as we put the words "Genuine Republicans," at the head of our Election Bills, my word for it, Bull would faint with fear, before he had half finished the reading.
Uncle Sam rejoined; I know that the steward, Thomas, and my Wife have had great faith in this wordy